You have prepared the nursery, washed every onesie twice, and read approximately four parenting books. Then the baby arrives and nothing goes how you imagined it, in the best possible and also most terrifying way.
The first week with a newborn is like nothing else. It is overwhelming and beautiful and confusing all at once. Here is what is actually normal and what you genuinely do not need to stress about.
How Much They Sleep (A Lot, But Not When You Want Them To)
Newborns sleep between 14 and 17 hours a day in the first week. The catch is that they do it in 2-4 hour bursts around the clock. Their stomachs are tiny — about the size of a marble in the first few days — so they need to feed very frequently. Expecting a newborn to sleep for six hours straight is like expecting someone to run a marathon the day after being born. It is just not going to happen.
Follow safe sleep guidelines: put your baby on their back, in their own sleep space, with no loose bedding, pillows, or bumpers. The cot or Moses basket should be firm and flat.
Feeding: Colostrum, Cluster Feeding, and Confusion
In the first few days, a breastfeeding mother produces colostrum, a thick, yellowish milk that is incredibly rich in nutrients and antibodies. Your baby only needs tiny amounts of it. The fact that your breasts do not feel full in the first days does not mean you are not producing enough.
Around day 3-5, mature milk comes in and your breasts will feel noticeably fuller, sometimes uncomfortably so. This is normal. Feed often and the supply will regulate.
Cluster feeding, where your baby wants to feed almost constantly for several hours, typically happens in the evenings. It is exhausting but normal. It is your baby stimulating your milk supply, not a sign that you are not producing enough.
If you are formula feeding, follow the preparation instructions on the tin exactly. Use cooled boiled water and sterilised equipment. Do not add extra powder hoping to make feeds more filling — it affects the balance of nutrients.
The Umbilical Cord Stump
The small stump left on your baby’s navel will dry out and fall off on its own, usually between 7 and 21 days. Keep it clean and dry. Fold the nappy down below it so air can reach it. Do not pull it off even if it looks like it is barely hanging on. If it smells unpleasant, looks red around the base, or there is discharge, contact your midwife.
Why Your Baby Looks a Bit Strange
Newborns often do not look like the round-faced babies in advertisements. They may have a pointy or slightly squished head from the birth canal. Their skin may be blotchy, peeling, or covered in vernix (the waxy coating from the womb). Their eyes may be puffy. They may have tiny white spots on their nose called milia. All of this is completely normal and temporary.
Jaundice — a yellowish tinge to the skin and whites of the eyes — affects around 60% of full-term newborns and usually appears on day 2 or 3. Mild jaundice resolves on its own. Your midwife will check levels at home visits. Severe jaundice needs treatment, so keep your appointments.
Crying: The Language You Have to Learn
Your newborn’s entire communication toolkit is crying. In the first week, they cry because they are hungry, uncomfortable, overtired, overstimulated, or simply adjusting to being outside the womb. You will not always know which one it is. That is fine. You will get better at reading them over time.
The survival guide: check hunger first (almost always the answer), then nappy, then temperature, then overstimulation. Sometimes a baby just needs to be held and rocked. That is okay. You cannot spoil a newborn.
You Do Not Have to Have It All Together
In the first week, your only job is to keep your baby fed and safe, and to look after yourself enough to keep going. Order food, accept help, lower every expectation. The house does not need to be clean. You do not need to have visitors if you do not want them. The thank-you notes can wait.
This week is hard. It gets easier. Ask for help before you need it.
